he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
