dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
