Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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