i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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