My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
