They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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