I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
