So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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