Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
