Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
