spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
