I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize