do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
