Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
