im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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