Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
