Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
