hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
