Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
