I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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