We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
