I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
