Non-Jews are for practice
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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