He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
