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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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• (415): View more from California

  Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling

  (415): View more from California

  God, I love San Francisco.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just commented on the education level of his penis.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.

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