Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
