so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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