I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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