she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize