were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You ruined the universe
Pooping to opera.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
