Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
