I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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