I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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