can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
