youre lurking in front of me
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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