Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
