can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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