Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
This is my gift to your gina
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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