Where is the hickey?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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