none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
