i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
