me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
