If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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