If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
