a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
