i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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