too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
