Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
