I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
