she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
