Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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