were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
