Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
