you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
