I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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