Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
